Working Moms

Does the term "working mom" sound at all redundant? At all redundant? Exactly. Do we say someone has a sick illness, or a hungry hunger? No, because that would sound silly. So, why do we say someone is a working mom? Doesn't the definition of "mom" imply that work is involved? A lot of work? More work than pretty much any other job out there? A job from which you can't retire, or take a vacation, or even a sick day? Now, I know that the term really refers to a mother who works outside of the home, such as myself. Yet, I have several friends who work a lot harder than I do, and they stay home all day with their kids. Yet, they're called "stay-at-home" moms. Gee, when I used to "stay at home", I'd lay on the couch and watch tv all day - that was called 'being single on a weekend.' Yet that is the farthest from what these women do. Instead, they play, clean, play, change diapers, play, do laundry, play, make cute little arts and crafts, play, clean again, feed, play, clean for the 3rd time, breathe, play, etc.

I have the rare opportunity to do both - leave for work 3 days/week, and stay home 4 days/week. I can understand the responsibility of being a 'working' mom and a 'stay at home' mom, and both have their positives and negatives. What remains a constant though, is that I'm there for my children - not necessarily physically "there," but available, and they are always there for me - in my heart and in my mind - constantly. I've learned to leave the stress of life behind me when I'm with them - they don't need to know my problems, or feel that from me. Stress isn't good for anyone, much less children, and even less when they sense it from their parents. Kids need to feel relaxed, free, eased, comfortable, and loved, and they get that, in part, from their emotional and physical attachments to their parents. So, whether or not you stay home, or work outside of the home, or have a home office, being a mom (or dad) is one of the hardest and most demanding (if not THE most) jobs there is, yet how wonderful is it to have your child wrap their arms around you and hug you like you are the best thing they've ever known. It makes everything worthwhile - just make sure to savor it.

The importance of laughter

One thing about our 2 daughters is that they laugh constantly! I'm not talking about the pity laugh you get as a parent when your child is placating you, but the all-out belly laugh, usually brought on by the eating of tummies, or the chasing around the house threatening to tickle until they can't talk anymore. Granted, I've also received the "yeah mom, that was funny" by my 3-year old, but she'll laugh at almost anything. I've realized that their love of laughter has made them hilarious little people. Laughter eases the system, making just about everything easier. It expends energy, making kids tired (and adults too), it releases happy signals, and most importantly, it eases the body. Imagine trying to read a book or enjoy a movie when you're mad - your mind is probably stuck on what made you mad in the first place, distracting you from the joy you could be experiencing. Now, imagine reading a book or watching a movie when someone is telling corny jokes or tickling you - distracting, of course, but much more enjoyable.

My husband is a genius at getting our 3-year old to laugh. If she's refusing to eat dinner, or change her clothes, or get in the tub, or brush her teeth, or stay in her bed, or put on her shoes (you get the picture), he can make her laugh just by giving her a look. Immediately, she does what we want, because her stubborness has been replaced by happy feelings. A lot of parents lose their temper, and get their kids to do what they want by yelling (myself included at times). But I've learned that power struggles between a parent and a 3-year old are never fun - and we only win by default, because we're bigger and make the rules. However, just by changing the focus from yelling to laughing can make anything easier. Have you ever gotten into a fight with your partner or spouse, and been steaming mad, when all of a sudden, you let out a burp, or trip on your own foot, or say something completely ridiculous, leading to uncontrollable laughter? Do you go back to the fight, or do you both laugh about it, and make up - even just a little. That's my point - ease the system - laugh a little, laugh a lot, just laugh. Every day - laugh.